If you were wondering “Donde carajos está el bloggero Boricua (Where the hell is the Boricua Blogger)?” that is a great question. I have been here, working, searching for information, being a father and a friend (that’s an excuse to say “I did not feel like writing”). But I am back and with some entertaining information. This time I will go back to basics. What does that mean? Here’s a story. In my line of work, I receive calls from people in Puerto Rico, places is Central America and the United States; young, old, wise, dumb, all kinds of people. Often they ask, after they hear my name, where am I located. “Puerto Rico” I say with my Boricua accent, not the way someone from the States would pronounce it. They get mad and start saying all kinds of stuff about us and were we are located. It pisses me off! That’s why I want to go back to basics and explain people where we are. So, if there is a post you want to share with your non latino friends, this is the one.
Puerto Rico is an Island. We are located in the Caribbean, specifically in the Antilles. The Island is the smaller of the Greater Antilles and the biggest of the Lesser Antilles. If you know where Cuba is, keep looking to the right and you will find us. It is a small island, but we make a lot of noise. Boricuas are US Citizens, as any person born in Idaho or Texas is. Why? Because Puerto Rico is a territory of the Unites States and have been for many decades now (really, verify the information). We speak Spanish, Boricua Spanish (if you have read any of my post before, you will understand. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for?), and not all of us speak English. I mean, we don’t need it much to speak between us. Some people from USA are not happy about that when they travel here, but let’s face it, when we arrive to Washington, DC we don’t have a Boricua at the airport gate saying: Coño que bueno que llegaste!
Our food is unique. We eat rice and beans and chuletas because we love it, and if you are Boricua and don’t eat that you are definitely on a diet, a bad diet. But we also have hamburgers, hot dogs and all that junk food that make us fat. In terms of clothing, Boricua men wear pants, long or short, and shirts, and women can wear that too, and also skirts and blouses. We wear bathing suits at the beach and we look good on them. We don’t just shop at the stores in the middle on the town; we go to malls, big malls. Como dato curioso (as a fun fact) we have the biggest shopping mall in the Caribbean and once the JC Penney in that mall was the biggest in the US (I’m not sure if it still is). Yes, we spend money like crazy and are always broke too, like any other US Citizen. When we party, we do it the right way, the Boricua way. And when a Boricua is outside of the Island, we can be identified easily, and it has nothing to do with our skin color; we are the loudest and the ones having the more fun. Even piña colada was invented here (yes, we came up with it). Bacardi, we make it here and people around the world party with it.
There are a lot of Boricuas recognized around the world. Ricky Martin, Boricua. Benicio del Toro, Boricua. Mark Anthony and his ex wife JLo, Boricuas. Bruno Mars, not Boricua, but I think his grandfather is and that explains all his talent. And for me is really important to say that none of those represent any of us. I mean, we are extremely proud of them; they placed the name of Puerto Rico in a place for the world to see, but they don’t represent us as individuals. Ricky Martin is a great dancer, but many of us dance better. Benicio has an Oscar, and I have Daniel and Fabián. What I mean is that if you see any of them doing something, good or bad, their actions should not be considered as something any Boricua would do. This is where the guy who kidnapped the girls in Ohio comes in. He is and will always be Boricua, but we don’t go around doing the sick stuff he did. The same goes for the kid who entered the movie theater dressed as the Joker and started shooting, or the boys that shot other kids in Columbine, or the guy who killed Abraham Lincoln, or Martin Luther King or JFK. Those people do not represent the people of the USA, they are just some sick guys who happen to be part of the history of the country.
So, there you have it. I said all I was dying to say. Now that you know where Borinquen is and what we do, your life should be better, way better. Share this with your friends and comment if you feel like it. You can also email me at email@example.com. Until next time, which I promise will be soon, cójanlo suave!