A father’s thoughts on stuff…

My post today has nothing to do with being Boricua. So, if you were expecting that and rather stop reading, this is your chance. Or, if you want to give it a chance, I will appreciate it. There are awful things happening in the world today, and my Island is no stranger to that type of stuff either. The latest event that happened involved a six year old boy who is now in the hospital trying to stay alive. This even touches me particularly because I have a seven year old son and a 22 month baby boy. This post is a way for me to vent, since it’s boring to read something this big in Facebook.


I had a wonderful childhood. I remember many of my Christmas presents and all the grass I picked for Día de Reyes (Three Kings Day). I used to play outside until my mom called me so loud that everyone in the basketball court would stop playing just to see who was calling. My parents were strict but there was always room for some flexibility. And even though they had rough times in their marriage, we never saw it, or at least I did not. Road trips were fun too (until my brother turned 15 or so that he was “big”). My mother used to play games so we enjoyed the trips or at least did not bother her that much. Dad also had funny things to say and to teach us even when mom told him not to say certain stuff because “Tu sabes como es este nene que siempre se aprende esas pocas vergüenzas” (you know this kid is that he always learns the bad stuff).

1013544_10152977385420447_617643159_n[1]When I turned 25, I became a father to Daniel Antonio. My life changed right there. Since I always enjoyed being goofy, having a son was the perfect excuse “not to grow up”; playing around the house all day, tickling the kid and teaching him funny faces and laughs. As he grew up, I realized he was my clone and that I have turned into my dad, something I was really happy with. Five years later, I became a father for the second time. Fabián Antonio, a new chapter in my life, a baby brother for Daniel, who was also very happy about it.  I enjoy being a father and also enjoy seeing my parents be awesome abuelos.

I know my experience as a child is not the same one all the people I know had; some grew up with their grandparents, others only with their mothers, and other with sibblings from different fathers. And that is ok, we all have our stories and our traumas in life. But what I don’t understand is how in this big planet can a parent hurt a kid. I understand that some spanking or stuff like that helps and is necessary (my parents did it to me), but burning, cracking their head up of breaking kids bones is just unacceptable.

My oldest son saw the news today about the kid that was found almost dead in a washing machine basket. He was sad, and I was even worst. He asked how were a mother and a father able to do that to a kid. My answer was simple: “They are not good parents”. As you grow up, I said, you will see and witness many bad and ugly things. But you can be certain that your parents and abuelos love you and nothing will ever happen to you. You will cry in life and I may even spank your behind, then he laughed, but you are important and we will take care of you and teach you to take care of yourself.

As for the human beings who did this to the kid, I can say many things. People say they should be hanged, killed, poisoned and many other things. I don’t know what will happen to them, but I bet they will be taken care of in jail; there is a special place and procedure to deal with them. As for you, my dear reader, who is a father, mother or abuelo: take care of the children. But not just drive them to school or watch them play. Talk to them, play with them, study together, make them laugh and make them an important part of your life. If you are not with your kids right now because they live somewhere else, take a minute and call them, ask for them, invite them for breakfast or lunch. Go to their sport practice, teach them how to win, but also how to lose. Life is way too short to be wasted.

13966_369542725446_8151787_nChildren are not the future, they are today and we as parents and adults are called to lead them, to teach them how to get from here to there. That would be all for today, we will see what happens tomorrow. Until next time, cójanlo suave.